“HADES—With no boatmen to take them across the dark stygian waters to the dry, sunless lands of the dead, millions of newly deceased souls were reportedly backed up on the banks of the River Styx during a transit strike by the Underworld Ferry Workers Union, sources confirmed Friday. ‘Yeah, I get it—Charon, Phlegyas, and the rest are expected to work 24 hours a day, seven days a week for all of eternity and have never seen their wages raise beyond one golden obol per passenger, but souls still need to journey into the afterlife, you know,’ said former St. Paul, MN resident Rick Hoffman, who has not advanced in line since succumbing to congenital heart failure five weeks ago. 
‘It’s like, I can physically see Cerberus standing on the other side. Someone needs to paddle us over there, and I don’t care if he’s organized labor or not.’ Hoffman added that he hoped the strike would end soon, as he was ‘getting pretty creeped out’ by the keening souls who, unable to pay the fare, are forced to wander the shores weeping and crying out for a hundred years.” –“Deceased Souls Backed Up At River Styx Ferry Crossing During Underworld Transit Strike,” The Onion, April 27, 2018
“Deceased Souls Backed Up At River Styx Ferry Crossing During Underworld Transit Strike,” The Onion
Linda Pastan, “Summer Triptych” (2015)
Selection from “Summer Triptych” by Linda Pastan:
“Swathed from head to toe
in seeming veils of muslin,
the figure in the Nantucket fog
poles along the shoreline on a flat barge.
It could be Charon transporting souls
across the River Styx, or just
another fisherman in a hoodie,
trolling for bluefish
on the outgoing tide.”
Published on Poem-a-Day (June 12, 2015)
Adventure Time, “Return to the Nightosphere” (2012)
Season 4, Episode 5 of Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time is set in the hellish “Nightosphere.” It alludes to Dante’s Inferno: its protagonists, Finn and Jake, find themselves there not knowing how they got there; they pass through an imposing gate to meet with the ruler of the Nightosphere; they meet a character rowing a boat over condemned souls.
Watch the full episode here.
Contributed by Allison Kim, University of Texas at Austin
Telecom Company Tim produces Dante ads (2012)
Uber Reviews for Charon, Boatman of Hades
“SERVING HADES AND THE SURROUNDING AREA
127 Fields of Punishment Ave.
[…]
“✩ ✩ ✩
KAREN T.
He arrived on time, so three stars for that. But he was not very fun. I said, ‘Hey, Charon,’ and he got offended, saying, ‘It’s pronounced “Karen.” ‘ So I was, like, ‘Oh, my God! Shut up! My name is Karen!,’ and then he rolled his burning fire-eyes and melted into the ether and left me there in the middle of the River Styx. Rude.
“✩
LISA M.
Big surprise. Yet another service that won’t take me to Brooklyn.” –Cirocco Dunlap, The New Yorker
