“You already have your summer getaway planned, but what about your permanent vacation? Given your options, Hell may be less temperate, but its hidden perks make it well worth the trip.” [. . .] –Michael Rottman, The Morning News, June 27, 2006
Sin-O-Mints: “For the Sinner in You”
Found at: Santosha (retrieved on September 15, 2006)
See also: Philosopher’s Guild (retrieved on June 7, 2013)
“Dante, Virgil To Tour L.A.”
Found at The Onion, June 10, 1998
“Report: 92 Percent Of Souls In Hell There On Drug Charges”
“HELL. A report released Monday by the Afterlife Civil Liberties Union indicates that nine out of 10 souls currently serving in Hell were condemned on drug-related sins. ‘Hell was created to keep dangerous sinners off the gold-paved streets of Heaven,’ ACLU spokesman Barry Horowitz said. ‘But lately, it’s become a clearing-house for the non-evil souls that Heaven doesn’t know how to deal with.'” —The Onion, October 12, 2005
“Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell”
“CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL. After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday. The Blockbuster Video-sponsored circle, located in Nether Hell between the former eighth and ninth levels of Malebolge and Cocytus, is expected to greatly alleviate the overcrowding problems that have plagued the infernal underworld in recent years.” —The Onion, September 23, 1998
Contributed by Ted Reinert (Bowdoin, ’05)
