Ukable Parodies’ Inferno Songs

“ORIGINAL SONG: ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,’ 1976 by Gordon Lightfoot, used primarily for music and meter.
PARODY COMPOSED: Archaic quasi-Italian and English lyrics by Giorgio Coniglio, May 2015.

A TRIP DOWN THE ACHERON RIVIERA

(to the tune of ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’)

Intro:

Accounts linger on from Old Testament on down

Of the fiery pit Jews call Gehenna.

You probably knew that our Dante passed through,

And the year Thirteen Hundred was when-a.

“Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore

Facemi la divina Podestate

Per me si va ne l’etterno dolore

Lasciat’ ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.”

The tour started badly, we recount to you sadly,

With a big screen predicting the weather,

“At this Rehab-resort, no rainstorms to report –

And you’ll surely be roasted for ever.”

Dante:

Queste parole di colore oscuro

Vid’io scritte al sommo d’una porta.

Per ch’io: “Maestro il senso lor m’e duro.”

Elli: “Qui ogne viltà sia morta.”

The ‘agreement’ on monitor, in font and hue somber

Conflicted with my inner wish-list.

“This Hotel,” it is said, “never gives up her dead.”

Virge explained, “Here all fear is extinguished.”

[…]    –Giorgio Coniglio, Silly Songs and Satire, September 3, 2015.

See Silly Songs and Satire for the full song and other Dante-themed ukulele parodies, as well as the ukulele chords for “A Trip Down The Acheron Riviera.”

Riccardo Milani, Come un gatto in tangenziale (2018)

A still from the film

Contributed by Silvia Salvatici and Gianni Guastella

Tim Dedopulos, “Dante’s Infernal Puzzle Collection” (2013)

91tu0J59qyL“Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here… Dante’s Infernal Puzzle Collection is a superb, original book filled with riddles, conundrums and brainteasers inspired by the epic poem the ‘Divine Comedy’. The reader must pit their wits against Satan himself on their quest to make it through all nine circles of Hell to Paradise! More than 100 extremely challenging puzzles are included, all themed and illustrated with superb line art, making this book all you need to get to puzzle Paradise…”    —Amazon

Dante’s Weird Fish, San Francisco

Dantes-Weird-Fish-Menu-logo-SF“Established in 2006, Weird Fish made its mark as a neighborhood favorite serving up Pescatarian meals morning, noon & night. A vast army of darkness [hungry vegans] descended upon this tiny outpost nestled neatly behind everyone’s favorite 18th & Mission bus stop and feasted on mouth watering & artery clogging vegan dishes. […] After leaving in 2009, original creator and owner, Peter Hood (Boogaloos, St. Francis Fountain, Crossroads Café in Joshua Tree), returned to take back the reigns of Weird Fish in March of 2012. Adding the moniker, ‘Dante’s’ to Weird Fish, an homage to the 9 levels of Hell of business divorce, Hood continues to promote sustainable seafood, organic produce from local farms, and California brewers and wine makers in a cozy ‘Devil may care’ environment. Dante’s Weird Fish prides itself in serving food that is bad for you, but good for the environment. So, pull up a chair and take one for the team!”

dantes-weird-fish

 

“Tevez, l’ultima follia. L’inferno sulla schiena”

Tevez-tattoo-inferno-schiena-juventus-dante“‘Lasciate ogni speranza o voi che entrate.’ Tutto sommato potrebbe essere questo il messaggio dell’ultima follia di Carlitos Tevez: un maxi tatuaggio realizzato dall’artista polacco Piotrek Taton. Tutta la schiena dell’Apache (non cè più spazio) è così diventata un groviglio di anime perse, dannati e diavoli.” — Gaetano de Stefano, La Gazzetta dello Sport, December 9, 2014

Comcast Rant

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“Though I haven’t read Dante’s Inferno in its entirety, I have read enough excerpts over the years to realize that back in 1300, I’m pretty positive that Dante was extremely forward-thinking. In describing his descent into hell, he was obviously creating an allegorical representation of what it’s like to call Comcast customer service with a simple billing question on an innocent enough summer Wednesday in 2011. Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate, the gates of hell read as Dante enters. ‘Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.'” […]    –Sheena Moore, Spend Matters, July 22, 2011