The Tenth Circle: Bedtime

“Bedtime – the hour that we spend all day counting down to. The curtain call to our kids’ shitty antics and incessant demands, so we can finally pour ourselves a drink and peruse Netflix for that perfect movie or show to serve as background noise while we scroll Facebook and fall asleep on the couch. Except bedtime is almost never the time we parents have chosen for bed. Oh, no. Kids are determined to not go gentle into that good night and to rage against the dying of the light.

“While most just flip their kids the bird under their throw blanket when little Jimmy comes stomping down the stairs for another goddamned glass of water, funny parents on Twitter are tweeting what we’re all thinking.

“Twitter parents know. Twitter parents understand. Twitter parents are also losing their effing minds one failed bedtime routine after another.”    –Serena Dorman, Sammiches & Psych Meds, 2017.

You can check out all twenty-two tweets here.

Circles of Hell for Moms

“In my studies I came across Dante’s ‘Inferno,’ which is the beginning of the epic poem ‘Divine Comedy.’ ‘Inferno,’ as it turns out, is Italian for “hell.” The 14th-century epic poem tells the story of the writer suffering through the nine circles of hell located within Earth. Kinda sounds like motherhood, no?

“Let’s face it, some parts of motherhood are downright hellish. And while it seems like those sleepless nights with infants or days spent comforting a teething child are hell, they’re not. That’s because those phases end quickly. The real nine circles of hell for moms last longer and make even the most patient woman feel like she is in the middle of an Italian classic.” — Meredith Gordon, Mom.me, May 14, 2015

Read the full article here.

Seven Circles of Baby Class Hell

“As any self-assured stranger will tell you, babies need to be socialised if they’re to grow into well-rounded adults, skilled in the arts of compromise, empathy, and not interfering in other people’s business at bus stops. A fun way to do this, and to meet other like-minded (baby-brained) mummies, is to enroll your child in a class. There are a multitude to choose from, all intended to maximise the potential for parental humiliation. But which to go for? Here are seven popular contenders to consider…” — Tina Bored, Metro, April 8, 2015

Read the full list here.

Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell if He Were a Parent Today

“As parents there are a lot of things we smile our way through for the love of little John and Jane when, if we’re honest, we’d rather be getting a root canal. If Dante

lived today and wrote his famous literary tome Inferno from the perspective of a parent, the eternal punishments doled out in his nine circles of hell might look something like this…” — This Michigan Life, October 8, 2013

Find out Dante’s Nine Circles of Parenting Hell by reading the full article here.

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